“What if it doesn’t work?” and other frequently asked questions
Every week I speak to exhausted parents, who feel desperate for change. All of them have different aged children, unique sleep situations, and differing sleep goals. But they all have the same question for me: “what if this doesn’t work?”
This is a great question. Investing time and money while blindly trusting an internet stranger feels really scary. It’s also easy to be skeptical about the process- how can we fix years of sleep challenges in such a short period of time? Not to mention, most of these families have already tried many different things or programs to try to fix sleep on their own.
I get it, I have been there! When my first baby was 8 months old I hit my rock bottom with sleep deprivation and frustration. I decided to hire a sleep consultant myself, and while she ended up changing my life- I was highly skeptical at first. Now as a sleep consultant myself, and after working with hundreds of families I understand why she guaranteed my success.
Here's the thing: the personalized support and coaching sleep consultants provide means “it not working” just doesn’t happen. We are in close contact with our clients every day, which allows us to quickly recognize when we need to troubleshoot, push pause, or make an adjustment. We don't just wait to see what happens at the end of the two week program (that would make absolutely no sense).
We can’t guarantee that your little one is 100% ready.
We can't guarantee that there won't be circumstances where we need to pause.
We can’t guarantee that the approach we take on night one will be the best fit.
We can’t guarantee that there won’t be hard moments.
But we 100% CAN guarantee that if you fully trust this process and our guidance, we will stick with you until we reach your goals! Recently, I worked with a few families who have had their sleep support extended beyond the purchased package time:
An 6 month old with reflux who just needed more time and some feeding/routine adjustments along the way (currently on day 16 with us and making so much progress!).
An 8m old who is going to take a pause because they are sick (we will jump back into sleep work once they are back to 100%).
A 3 year who needed an extra gradual approach- we will be wrapping things up soon after successful 3 weeks together.
All three of these families are working in collaboration with us, and fully trusting our guidance and plan. In these cases it’s always our pleasure to stick around until the job is done- at no extra charge to the client!
What about the crying? Will you make us leave our baby to CIO?
First of all, a good sleep consultant wouldn’t ever pressure you into doing anything that doesn’t feel right. Our role should always be to support you in reaching your sleep goals, in ways that feel good for YOUR family.
An important part of our process here at The Sleep Consultant is to connect on an introductory call with a family before they make any decisions about working with us. We need to identify:
A family’s sleep goals
If they need 1:1 sleep support (sometimes a simple troubleshooting call is a better fit)
If there are any red flags that suggest a feeding or health concern could be contributing to sleep challenges (in this scenario a referral to another professional is the best step, before making any sleep changes)
These calls are also an opportunity for us to share details about our approach to independent sleep. Most of the families we work with are looking for a responsive sleep training approach. In our practice, we use one of two main methods for children in cribs: leave and check, or a stay in the room method where a parent stays crib side with their child. For children in open beds we only use a parent present/stay in the room method. It’s important for us to be super transparent, so that a family can gauge whether or not our approach is a good fit for them. We set aside time in our calendars every week for these sleep evaluation calls- you can book one here.
“But my friend used one of these methods, and her baby cried for two hours”
This is such a common concern! There are so many horror stories about sleep training floating around.
When families have tried sleep training unsuccessfully it usually isn’t about the method they chose! Typically, excessive crying or lack of progress is more to do with scheduling, routines, or sleep environment being off. Here’s just one example:
Baby had their bath, read a book, then was given their bedtime feeding. They got pretty drowsy while feeding but were fully awake going into the crib. They struggled a lot to fall asleep, and after many many check-ins two nights in a row mom and dad pulled the plug, and assumed sleep training just wouldn’t work for their baby.
The problem? Drowsiness on a feeding reduces baby’s sleep pressure just enough to make independent sleep feel impossible for them = tons of crying. This is just one example of how the routines leading up to sleep training are so important.
We have no magic method you haven’t heard of, and we can’t make sleep changes without some level of crying (change is hard!). We can however coach you on how to use the method properly, and more importantly how to set your child up to be successful with it. We typically expect crying to be manageable, and drastically reduced within 1-3 nights- reach more about crying and sleep training here.
What If I am not ready to stop room sharing or night feeding?
Totally fine! The beauty of working with an actual live human sleep consultant is that we can personalize your sleep plan to be aligned with your goals. Many of the families we work with choose to sleep train while room sharing, and lots of babies still require overnight feedings.
We can also help you plan for things like scheduling naps around daily daycare drop offs for older siblings, or mommy and me classes. Some of the families we work with also choose to include sleeping at grandmas house, or practicing going to the cabin as part of our sleep plan. Plans to share with daycare are always a part of this process too!
Sleep consultants help you create a flexible, sustainable sleep rhythm!
What if the results don’t last?
Another GREAT question! No one wants to invest in a sleep consultant, just to have sleep fall apart again in the future. A big portion of our sleep program is spent educating parents on the WHY behind the things we are changing- having a deep understanding of sleep scheduling, routines, and independent sleep allows you to navigate future sleep changes as they arise. We want you to become your own sleep expert!
Here are some of the resources we provide:
Detailed sleep scheduling recommendations for each month until school age (and the education on when to know changes are necessary)
Steps for each nap transition
Tips to navigate illness, travel, and teething
Tips for starting daycare
Steps to transition from crib to bed
It’s also important to note that the monthly sleep regressions google will tell you about aren’t really a thing. The only true biological sleep regression is the one that happens around four months, when babies undergo a permanent change to the way their brains organize sleep. Beyond that, sleep changes are caused by sleep needs reducing (sleep scheduling needs to change!) or developmental milestones (read more about that here). We prepare our clients for this, and give them the tools and resources they need to prevent major regressions.
What makes your team different than other sleep consultants?
We often get asked what makes us special or different than the many other sleep professionals out there. This is a GOOD question, because it means parents are doing their research and exploring a variety of options! You need to feel comfortable and aligned with the consultant you choose- you’ll be spending a lot of time with them!
Our team’s strength is not in the methods that we use, or the process we take families through. Its also not our Pediatric Sleep Certifications, or educational backgrounds (more about us here!). Yes, our education ensures that the sleep recommendations we make are evidence-based, but this isn’t our secret sauce.
What makes us special is that when we work 1:1 with a family, we’re all in. We become your sleep teammate, your go to when things aren't going as planned, and your emotional support though a big change. Your goals are our goals, right to the end. Check out our google reviews to see what our clients have to say about the level of support that we provide.
YOU are the only person who gets to determine if your child’s sleep is a problem or not!
We don’t pressure parents into working with us around here! If you are ready for a change, and want to connect with us to learn more about how we can help, sleep sleep evaluation calls can be booked here. Helping families find better sleep in ways they feel good about is what we do best!
